This is what molded me

CV stands for Curriculum Vitae, or Circle of Life. And the first thing that generally pops to mind is a list of school and training performances and a list of grateful employers (grateful that you signed or grateful that you resigned …).

One doesn’t want to show her resume, because of the many empty lines. The other doesn’t because her six sheets – printed on both sides – maybe perhaps a little too impressive. But the Circle of Life does not only contain material that is only suitable for an interview.

And so what follows is a summary of what makes me a passionate Life & Personal Coach. (If you are still interested in my more intellectual performances, I like to refer to my page on LinkedIn.)

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As you probably know, every encounter, every job, every relationship and every event affects one’s life. Even those of which there are no nice memories.

And through the years I have seen that EVERYTHING works for the good to help me be who I am: Asha.

Relatives

The family, which I was born in in the sixties, consists of my father, my mother and my brother Steven. My parents have used the resources and knowledge they had to raise me as good as possible. Because of them I learned to be strong and develop perseverance. And … to economize!

My brother Steven Badal has always been my hero. He succeeded in everything he did. From my point of view, his life went on smoothly, unlike mine. My life rolled on square wheels. With any movement I felt and heard a big thump. Giving me a headache each time again. The beauty of it is that we now do similar work. I coach as a Life & Personal Coach. He as a Pastor and Trainer/Coach. We had to follow our own paths to get where we are today. And what I learned is that if you follow your heart, the square wheels turn automatically into rolls.

I come from a multi-racial, multi-cultural and multi-religious family. This has advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are that I am familiar with the various races, dishes, costumes, humor, family systems and religions. The only downside was that I – despite of all the love I received –  as a child and teenager often never really felt at home. It was in my early twenties that I began to understand that ‘home’ is where I am.

Depression

When I was little I had a trauma that, as I grew older, became increasingly controlling my life. It affected my daily life in the form of severe depressions. And the more I tried to deny them, the worse they got. Eventually I understood that the only way to get rid of them, is to turn around and look the trauma straight in the eye. Then recovery started. Little by little my life became mine again. Every day there was an extra hour that belonged to me and not to the depression. What I learned in this process is that I can trust myself to do what is necessary, when it is necessary.

Religion

From my seventh year on I was raised a Christian and, in retrospect, I was a very bad one. Because I condemned anyone who did not believe what I believed. I’m afraid I’ve hurt a lot of people in those days.

To make a long story short: I entered a crisis of faith and it took me years to process that. Whether I am a believer or not, I’d like to keep to myself. Finding peace is what I find much more relevant for a Life & Personal Coach. The crisis of faith has taught me that I have totally nothing to say about anyone elses faith. For me that’s a relieve!

Education

During college, which I attended at Hogeschool Rotterdam, I was also adept as a pioneer / dancer with dance group “Honey from the Rock ‘. I also wrote many stories in those days.

I always kept myself busy next to my dayjob. So I got diplomas in interior and garden design. I am also a qualified tailor. I found out that it is not such a crazy thing to do what you like. It is also a whole lot easier to learn if you like it.

I have reinforced  my personal development with a training to become a Certified Transformational Life Coach. I attended this training at the MMS Worldwide Institute, BV. I have been instructed by Lynn U. Stewart and Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott and their team. It was during this training that I realized that I should stand for who I am.

Currently I study to become an EFT therapist. Meanwhile I finished EFT Level 1 and therefore can offer coaching with EFT. With this intervention technique I am able to coach people through emotional blockages faster and solve emotional problems permanently. So if you have a phobia, trauma or a chocolate addiction, then I can help you to resolve the source of it during an EFT coaching session.

Relations

In 1993 I married my best friend, Ramón Vasconcellos. Together we slained our dragons, built our castle and took responsibility for our lives. In times of joy and sorrow, we always stayed connected. I am grateful for our relationship. We always wished for a child, but unfortunately it became clear that that would not be easy for us. The sadness and pain that accompanied this has made us stronger and brought us even closer together. After 16 years of marriage, it was obviously our time and we became the proud parents of our daughter, Olivia. Our own little miracle.

And when I think of our friends, I say: unconditional support, constructive, inspiring, humorous and loyal! It is so nice to have true friends. To find support in times of need. And to share many laughs in times of joy. Valuable!

I like to mention our dear friend Kees Schuuring. He is a specialist in Autism. For more than 20 years Kees en Frederique and we are close friends.
So if you are looking for someone to advise you on how to deal with your autistic child, then I can warmly recommend Kees. Because he is an expert in his field. An expert because of his experiences with his son and because of the many studies he did on Autism.

Career

After my studies I could start as a secretary at RCC (National Computer Center. Which became later on RCC Public, later on Roccade Public, then Roccade, then PinkRoccade, later on Getronics and so on….). It’s then I learned that I am not secretary material. Fortunately I could start a career as a developer. After a few years I resigned from my job at PinkRoccade. I’m not satisfied with the way I did that. It wasn’t that bad, I mean no law suits or anything like involved, but I just wished I’d handled it in a more mature way. And therefore, I made a choice to never do that again. Through this incident, I became aware of the need to stand up for myself in an early stage and in a more pleasant way. And to be very clear about what I want.

Then came a time of development and creativity. I went to work at Niam TMS and developed my skills as ASP programmer in a short time. The company has changed, but back then it was a medium sized company with employees in all ages between 17 and 65. I felt very at home and enjoyed the creativity that was all over the place. My direct manager was Elbert de Bruin. In the beginning I had to get used to the way he ‘managed us’, but soon I realized what he was doing when the going got tough. What he did was…standing up for “his people”. I was not used to that. Until then, I was used to be treated less well. This was a welcome change. So, then I made the choice to change my opinion about ‘all’ managers.

At Bella Hendriks School for Tailors I learned tailoring. And because the market in IT was still very bad, I started – as a qualified dressmaker – my own studio Esperanza Designs in 2005. I learned how to set up a business. Find my suppliers. Attract clients and keep them. It was a difficult, yet very rewarding time. I had many lessons to grow from. And I also got lots of nice customers. And some less-nice customers helped me to recognize what I did and did not like about the business.

In 2006 I could work as project manager. A part-time job next to my studio. Beautiful combination. I worked for Michel Reuser and Bas Schiltmans from Procit BV. A dynamic duo that had created a great company with offices in Nepal and India. As project leader, I had daily contact with the Nepalese and Indian developers. What I mostly learned in the time with this company is to do who I am and to let go of who I am not. Bass and Michel are an example for me in ‘manifesting what you want’.
And what I wanted then was a more visually creative environment. A combination of technology and graphic design. So I made the choice to switch to a smaller company that contained both elements. Bass and Michel fully understood my choice and I, to my own great joy, resigned in a pleasant way. See… I know better, so I’ll do better.

And then turbulent times began… not because there was crisis or because the weather suddenly turned bad. No, because I started to work for Gertjan van Laar , Laurens van Klaveren and Ralph Bom – founders of Turbulent BV (Onstuimig). And turbulent – in a positive way – it often was. That’s what you get when a bunch of strong minded developers and designers work together. What I learned in those days is that it is possible to have fun at work and that fun comes in small things.

Personal development

Internal

Unfortunately the ‘Internet Bubble’ snapped in 2000 and I lost – with many others – my job. That was very frustrating, but it also gave me some time to deal with the root of the trauma for once and for all. Our family doctor told me that post-traumatic stress disorder can be treated with EMDR. I underwent this treatment and ever since I am living in the here and now.

I noticed at one point that I still suffered a great deal from the way I was holding myself up in life. By maintaining all kinds of ways to ward off, I was able to not feel emotional pain. Someone told me about the books of Ingeborg Bosch. Past Reality Integration (PRI) is a method that will help you ‘treat’ yourself. It has the same effect as EMDR, but independently and directly applicable at the time that you experience an unpleasant feeling.

I have followed the methodology and manage it now completely independently. Because I’ve given my past the attention it deserved, I can process it and let it be a peacefull part of my life. Since then looking forward is not an escape anymore, but a bare ability to design my life the way I want it.

Giving birth to our daughter did not go as desired. Fortunately, our daughter was completely healthy, but for me it a long process of rehabilitation began. First with Ingrid Jans, (physical therapist) and John de Groot (manual therapist). Later on I attended a rehabilitation program at the hospital. I needed to trust my body again. This literal standstill made me aware of my figurative arrest. And that was a turning point in my life.

Besides working on my physical recovery, I decided also to investigate what I really wanted with my life, so I could go find a job that really suits me. This research I did during a career process designed by Brigitte van Tuijl . Via Skype I underwent this process, because I was physically unable to travel. Brigitte was Life & Career Coach. Today she works as an International Business Coach. With warm feelings I look back on our conversations.

External

As long as I can remember I have had problems with my weight, but what I have learned is that I only have one body. And that I sabotage myself by always criticizing it. So one day I made a choice to accept my body as it was. And believe me…on that day my body was fat and heavy. In the newspaper I saw an ad from Wyke Bovendeur (Kleedster.nl). She helps people find their own dress style, so to me that seemed a good time to find the style that fits my body. It was enlightening to discover how to dress my body to make it look good. Wyke and I had a very nice day when she came to my house to check my wardrobe.

As a result of my decreased ability to move after the birth of our daughter in 2009, I gained a lot of weight. And when I started to recover I could move myself more and better after two years, I made a choice to do something about my weight. Because I was far too heavy and was even obesed! I started with a protein diet, supported by Ingrid and Klaas Zandstra, weight consultants at Sanadoe in Maarssen. I just want to be healthy and with a healty weight I take good care of my body. The support of these weight consultants encourages me enormously and the conversations we have are more than pleasant. Eventually I lost 44 pounds, feel great and… had to adapt my wardrobe !

It was at the end of 2009 that I expressed the wish to just ‘be who I am.’ I was pretty exhausted from constantly adapting myself to belong somewhere. And in the two years subsequent that wish became true. First very gradually and at the end suddenly at full speed. I have seen myself change in a positive way, because I followed my heart. The change was not only internally but also externally. And that was worth a photo shoot. So Ingeborg Bovendeur of Opmaakster.nl came to do my make-up and hair. Then we had the meeting with photographer Claudia of Studio Jan & Olaf at De Meern. My personal photo’s on this website are the results of the cozy photo shoot.

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If I read my own Circle of Life, it strikes me that I’ve become more and more myself. And that the number of positive relationships, opportunities, posibilities, jobs and encounters has increased along the way.

Of course I didn’t mention everything. These are just some highlights.

But, yes, we are molded by everything we have experienced and that process keeps going on. In general… we are just AMAZING!

That brings me to my logo: a diamond that comes out of a lemon.

Only when I began to process the sour peel of my life, I was able to notice that below that peel, I had developed into a gorgeous diamond.

I am the diamond (my true self), not the lemon peel (stupid mistakes, traumas, depressions, failures, clumsiness …).

Not that I’m finished, o no, a diamond never is. That is why I don’t see the point in hiding myself under an acid peel. Let’s be honest: you’d rather look at a diamond, then at a lemon, right?

I made a choice to show the diamond and remember the peel. That will keep me humble.

Besides, very clever how the designer of App33 could make a first draft for this logo from the picture in my head.
Designer Prasanna Kumar has perfected it.

Do you also believe that you really are the diamond and not the lemon, but peeling the lemon is giving you a little trouble?

Then I invite you to  me or fill out the form on page contact. You can also try to find out if I am currently available by calling +31 6 1844 6311.

Let’s talk about what you need to unleash who you really are: a diamond !

Whatever you’ve been through… it is néver too late to unleash your full potential !

 








Does your heart need a boost? So you can hear it better?